Overcome
I walked past a picture the other day that made me stop in my tracks. It's the title photo for this story. Josh took it on our honeymoon while we visited the redwoods. This picture felt like a prophecy of what was to come — me feeling so small amidst my overwhelming surroundings. That's when I heard God tell me it was time to share:
I've been hiding. I know this is no surprise to you. One look through social media or my webpage and it's easy to deduce: that chick is MIA. At first, it was intentional: I needed to focus on our upcoming wedding, and then our honeymoon, and then incorporating a new person into our lives and home. During that time, though, 2 things crept into the picture: a hormonal battle that has sent my body into a tailspin, and a spiritual battle with one of our kiddos that has sent Josh and I to our knees... in prayer and exhaustion.
Both of these battles have caused some very intense emotions to surface. Covid and distance learning have only amplified these larger-than-life feelings. Can any of you relate?
I’m not gonna lie, I pictured this season going differently. Josh and I laid a solid foundation. And we were anticipating a fruitful season because of the hard work we had done. So when several things headed south all at once, I let disappointment paralyze me (<— not my finest moment). For a while, these attacks felt like an unjust punishment. Instead of engaging my faith and fighting back, I just stood there feeling helpless; looking at how huge and unfair these issues felt.
Let's face it: none of us are new to trials. But sometimes one comes along and really kicks you in the pants! This butt-whooping left me feeling very overwhelmed. I didn't mean to hide, but in the middle of all that we were wrestling with I didn't feel like I had my footing underneath me. I needed answers. I needed hope. I needed to be able to share hope with you!
So I've been looking to God in the midst of this battlefield. He's giving me some great reminders that I'd like to share with you:
+He's reminding me to swing my sword at the unseen and not at people (specifically not your teenage son).
We are soldiers in a spiritual battle. "For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12
+He's reminding me that we, as godly parents, are our children's greatest resource (not their school, doctors, or even a church).
God is our greatest resource, but He entrusted our children to us until they can individually draw from His resources. Your kids' best chance of thriving is you! Don’t pass them off to a school or a Sunday school class and expect someone else to have all the answers. Keep pointing them to Jesus. Keep modeling Jesus. Keep going to church, but be the church for your family first. “So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 11:18-20
+He's reminding me to consistently plant seeds of peace.
Sometimes I find myself lacking in the area of intentional peace. I've been asking God to give me opportunities to fill our home with His peace; in the way I speak and respond. “And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness." James 3:18
+He's reminding me this battlefield will one day become a garden for others to enjoy. (Kind of like how I stood in awe of that giant redwood, which was a mere seedling at one point.)
This work is hard, but so worth it. Thinking of how this labor of love will pay off in the future helps keep me going. “And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2
This is not a follow-these-5-easy-steps-and-your-whole-life-will-be-fixed kind of a post. This is the kind of post where you see the struggle, but you see faith winning... even in the struggle. Overcoming isn't determined at the end of a battle. It's determined through the choices that are made and the work that is done DURING THE BATTLE! I told you from the jump: you have the opportunity to peek behind the curtain to see healing in process. This is the process; not the final product. However, I’m not stuck. You aren’t stuck; we are moving through the process with God's guidance. We are overcomers because Christ has overcome the world. It's time to engage our faith like never before. Our kids need us to be engaged. Our community is counting on it. Our spirit is hungry for it.
Now, wear those knees out and go talk to God.