I was recently sitting in a meeting at work and as things were winding down everyone was asked about their plans for the upcoming holiday. Some were hosting family, others were going out of town, some were even making several stops in one day (like Jay and I used to do). Then it was my turn. I opened my mouth to reply, but my throat clenched shut and tears welled up in my eyes. I knew I was sad, but I didn’t realize how sad until that moment. Three years ago I said goodbye to holidays with my in-laws and pumpkin pie for breakfast. This year, I say goodbye to a Boston accent, hilarious stories told from across the pond, and the smell of my mom’s famous sourdough rolls. Every few years our Thanksgiving table gets smaller and smaller. I didn’t realize how much I was still grieving the loss of these traditions until I was sitting in a meeting trying to choke back tears.
Read MoreI never thought I'd be standing in my house — holding fruit from my ex-husband's girlfriend — wondering if I should freeze it and fast-pitch it through the window of Jay's car or make some bomb lemonade from it. I had a strong urge to do one of those two activities and I can honestly say I wasn’t in the mood for lemonade.
Read MoreNo one ever talks about what you’re supposed to do with the good memories you still have after being severely betrayed. My marriage wasn’t horrible. We had a lot of really great times together. The only thing tainting these memories is the sense of complete loss. It mostly happens when I’m driving — I’ll pass a place where Jay and I have been: a place I once had a fond memory of. Then it happens, I’m abruptly hit in the face with a singular thought: “Something I loved died here.”
Read MoreThat's the problem with collecting... you soon run out of space and you're left holding weighty things you were never meant to hold onto in the first place.
Read More“I can’t buy into the philosophy of self-care, and here’s why: We aren't entitled to grace; it isn't owed to us. It's a free gift. I believe God is who cares for us.”
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